So on Facebook early March I started a string of post about things I feel are so important. To my surprise people actually liked the post and though I created a ton of the post I stopped posting them consistently and decided to form a blog post about it instead.
One moment… had to refill my wine, it aids me in putting this list into perspective.
Good sex is so important – please do not underestimate how amazing a good healthy sex life is. I’ve told y’all about this before! And lemme add SAFETY!! Healthy sex is knowing your status and having it with a non toxic partner. If you are in or revisiting your hoe phase, just practice safely, I’m sure some of you may not know if your partner is toxic or not *shrugs*. Orgasms are soooo important! HAVE SAFE SEX. Have it regularly.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is so important! Aretha Franklin been told y’all. A person that does not respect you will not be loyal to you. They will not take you into consideration. You will not be a priority. A person that does not respect you will not care for you the way you want/need them to. They will not move as you move. I really should’ve led with this because so many people have respect so low on their list (we’ll talk about this said list later).
Self love is so important. Y’all please love yourself and don’t love anyone else more than you love you UNLESS it’s your child. I ask everyone I help to tell me things that they love and people rarely ever mention themselves. It makes me sad, because I use to be that person. Your worth becomes so clear when you learn to love yourself without condition. No one will love you to the caliber in which you love yourself. I don’t give a damn what they tell you. Overdose on you!!! ❤️
Forgiveness is so important! You will always hear me speak on this. It is not cute to be walking around being bitter and holding grudges. You are doing yourself an injustice. And you are not hurting the other person by remaining mad, remember they didn’t give a damn about you, that’s why they were able to hurt without to begin with! Forgive them for YOU! Let that hurt go. Learning to forgive people that aren’t sorry is the biggest and best lesson you’ll ever learn in life, next to loving yourself. People just aren’t worth the grudge energy. Wish them well and move the fuck around.
Four Play is so important. Listen don’t think you can kiss a woman and she’s all of a sudden flooding the block. I mean sometimes that is the case. But don’t be so ready to slide ya dick in when you haven’t set that thang up to be overflowing! Also sex ed 101 there’s a flap (if you will) that for lack of better wording covers the vaginal hole. The flap “disappears” when a woman is fully aroused. I can’t speak for all women but for those that got that glove fitting yoni… do the work and move that shit so you can glide up in there! We don’t always wanna feel discomfort even if it only lasts for 2 seconds. Also when we’re fully aroused if we like you there is no limit to our freakiness… or least not mine. Yep, B is a VERY satisfied woman!!! 💁🏽♀️ Four play, my nigga DO IT!
Solitude is so important. A person that can not stand to be alone with themselves is a person that you should pay close attention to. There are some truths about their silence in which they can not stand. This goes beyond extrovert vs introvert. Silence is paramount. Solitude is essential to knowing and innerstanding (not a typo) oneself. A person that is lonely when alone needs more time to get to know themselves. Also based on observation a person that does not like to be alone is co-dependent and clingy. They need someone even if it’s not someone they want. Watch those kinds of people, they can’t be without supervision. Yep you’ve gained a child that needs constant entertainment and if you’re independent RUN, because they ain’t gon do shit but double dutch on your nerves!
Mental Health is so important. On a more serious note, take time to evaluate yourselves. And if something isn’t right, do not be afraid to go to a seek counseling or medical help. Black people do not be embarrassed, our community teaches us to just “pray about it”! That shit is wack and dead as fuck! Go get help. Tell someone, let others be there for you. Do not suffer in silence or alone. The older I get and the more I travel, the more prevalent I find mental illness to be. A lot of the homeless aren’t just addicts of some sort, MOST of them suffer from mental illness. Check up on yourself. Show up for yourself. And if you know someone suffering it costs nothing to be their support system.
Integrity is so important. In real life, if I don’t know your motive or if I think you on that slick shit or you do shady business I will NOT associate myself with you. It cost zero dollars to be integral. Have it with yourself, with other people, with your business and in every move you make. The security one feels when they know the motherfucka they are dealing with moves with integrity is freeing. I require that kind of integrity. A person that lacks integrity doesn’t give a damn about themselves or how they move. THEY WILL NEVER CONSIDER YOU!
Role play is so important. SPICE THAT SHIT UP!!!! Forever isn’t attainable if you having that same ass boring ass missionary sex! Throw a wig on and be someone else (most of us have an alter ego anyway)! Go to a bar separately and pick your woman up! Shit play cops and robbers. Be a prostitute and let ya partner be a John! Sound dumb or childish to you… I foresee a lot of stepping out in your and your partner’s future 🔮. Have drunk sex. Run red lights (YOU DAMN RIGHT I SAID IT)! Have sex in public, DO NOT get caught 😁! Get a tent and have an adult camp out in ya backyard. All I’m saying is shit can get boring and watching porn together isn’t spontaneity. Let them come home to a blonde in lingerie and tell them to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and put that yoni on em 🤷🏽♀️… I’m for real this shit is so necessary!
Traveling is so important, there is nothing sexier than someone who has been places outside of their hometown. And lemme be more specific because where I’m from people go to Myrtle Beach, Atlanta, Charlotte, and Miami all day and swear they are cultured. I MEAN TRAVEL FOR REAL. Get a passport. Visit every place you think you wanna go and then some. Experience other cultures. See how other states do shit. I promise every state has “their own thing” from dialect to food to style. Open ya mind and getcho ass up and put your PTO to use. If you go on annual thot trips to Miami… go thot abroad 🤷🏽♀️! Ain’t nothing like some international on the balcony head is all I’m saying! If you are traveling alone (been there, done that don’t forget ya toy, men take extra lotion). YOU’RE WELCOME.
Sage is so important. Some of y’all walking around with negative energy from 3 ex’s ago. Grow up! You can pray it off if that’s ya thang, but I’m telling you you better buy some sage and burn that shit like ya life depends on it. Sage your space and your space is any space that houses large amounts of your energy. Your home, your room, your car, your desk at work (if allowed, sage smell like weed sometimes lol don’t get fired na 😂). Most importantly SAGE YOURSELF! Get that negative energy up off ya. That shit ain’t cute in 2018! And if you still think sage is evil/root work GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG AND GO STAND YOUR SMALL MINDED ASS IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE! 🙅🏽♀️ #WakandaForever
Hygiene is so important. I’m not gon talk long about this. Brush ya teeth, wash ya face, wash ya ass. Use warm/hot water and soap. Don’t just eat pineapples , drink water and eat your veggies too. STOP putting the whole Victoria Secret’s and Summer’s Eve on your yoni and wondering why you have yeast and BV everyday. Hygiene is important so learn how to take care of you better. Pee after sex and if you are sexing more than one person wash your entire ass after sex, ain’t no passing out bihhh! Clean your ears and between your toes. Moisturize your body and put on deodorant. If you are walking around with a lil extra love on ya, lift them breast and get in between your rolls. Wipe your ass completely and WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS! I love us for real. 🖤✊🏽
Laughter is so important. Laugh all day, several times a day. Laugh from the bottom of your gut and until you have real tears. Laughter is great for the soul. Laugh loudly and unapologetically. In a world where we have so much to be sad and infuriated about still find time for laughter. Make others laugh. Laugh at yourself. Do not take this life shit too seriously. Laugh way more than you cry. Smile way more than you frown!
Good head is so important! Look don’t do what you THINK feels good. Ask the person you’re giving head to what they like. Be studious! There is nothing more unattractive and disturbing than bad head. Like why did you even go down if you can’t get it right? Sloppy toppy is important, if you with a man suck his dick like it’s the last one on earth. You eating yoni, french kiss that shit like it’s the last time you’ll ever kiss. Find the clit and make love to that shit with your tongue. And if you eating the booty, you better eat it like all the groceries in your damn pantry!
LOYALTY LOYALTY LOYALTY is so important! Kendrick Lamar told y’all and some of y’all still don’t listen. I don’t understand one that want to be outchea raw dawgin and can’t be loyal. But beyond that, if you tell someone you got em, have em! Friendship, family members and everything in between. Master P and C-Murder them made a song bout being down for their motherfuckin niggas, I’m talking that type of loyalty. If you gave your word, I should never have to think beyond that. My word is my bond if I got you, I got you. 💪🏽 I’m loyal af until you show me I shouldn’t be. And even then I remain loyal from afar. Y’all be ready to pledge allegiance to this country and can’t even hold ya partner like you told em you would. BYE!
Communication is so important. Say what you mean and mean what you say ‼️ All that saying shit just because you mad knowing damn well you don’t mean it went out with cassette tapes, okay! Be able to communicate properly about expectations and things that you don’t like WITHOUT being irrational and putting your hands on folks. If you don’t like it voice that. If it made you feel some kind of way, say that then elaborate on what kind of way it made you feel. Stop assuming folks know why you acting a way and start opening your mouth. Everybody ain’t psychic and everyone doesn’t wanna spend all day guessing. And guess what else, if you don’t know how to communicate you have no business being in relations, relationships, friendships, situationships or otherwise.
Peace, Love and Happiness are all so important. I grouped these three together because they all come like a ripple affect. You get one and the other two come as well. And once you taste this trio you will always do whatever necessary to maintain them. Especially if it’s genuine. No person on earth can bring you these things and if you are interested in any of them you have to apply within yourself. And then do the work! Be ready to learn who the fuck you are and lose a couple humans in the process. The reward tho, is the sweetest thing you’ll ever know!
I held y’all up this time, I ain’t sorry!
Until next time…