Your child is NOT your slave!

Yep, you read it right, your child is NOT your slave.

Why do parents think that once they have a child the child owes them something?  You are aware that you laid down and had unprotected sex and created a human right?  The human did not create you nor did the human ask to be created.  Okay, good now that we have that understanding we can move right along.

Why is it that parents feel like once they have a child all of their household duties become extinct?  You are aware that that’s still YOUR household right?  We are here because I was recently involved in a conversation on Twitter and it was talking about lazy ass parents and what’s right vs what’s wrong.

There is no reason why a parent and I’ma go a step further and say mother because that was the parent that most of us were speaking of on Twitter.  There is no reason a mother should have a child and all of the sudden not cook or clean in her own house anymore.  And I mean clean other parts of the house other than her room and bathroom.  Now, I do agree with chores to build a sense of responsibility and cleanliness within your child but chores should not include the whole house and should not be every single night because then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AS A PARENT?  Yes, I’m aware that you go to work and provide but you have to do that, all adults do.  And having a child did not relieve you of these responsibilities.  I will say this again the child owes you nothing.  No matter what you gave up in your life for your child, you are not owed anything.  The child did not ask to be here… y’all gon be sick of this statement because I’m gon repeat it all throughout this blog.

That house still belongs to you there is not one single reason why you shouldn’t have to maintain it.  The child is your child NOT your slave or maid.

Let’s talk cooking.  I was 12 years old making full meals.  After being taught how to cook, most times I was alone with it.  There is no reason that a child should be cooking meals for the family if you aren’t.  You are aware that your child is a child right?  When a child is in the kitchen it should be because they are cooking with their parent as a bonding and teaching tool.  Instead of “its your night to cook for the family”.  As a woman you should want to cook for your family. You don’t take pride in that?  And I get it if maybe its one night a week or if you’re at work and you come home and your teenager (different from child) has taken the load off but for it to be mandatory… nah.  Especially if you’re home and especially if you aren’t a single parent.  If there are two parents in the household then bruh, there’s really no fucking reason, fathers cook too!

Children have responsibilities of their own.  How dare you take away from their childhood by adding mandatory adulthood duties?  I can’t think of a reason a child should be rushing through homework to cook dinner for her family.  That just doesn’t make sense.  Especially with parents wanting to teach and parent from the comfort of the couch or their bedrooms.  I’m gonna ask again, you are aware that this is your house right?  And your child did not ask to be here, right?

Yes, as your child gets older they should become more independent and there are certain things you shouldn’t have to do for them anymore.  Those things include (but are not limited to) their hair, picking their school clothes out, making sure they washed their ass, cleaning their ears, hell checking their homework and even cleaning their room.  Not cooking their meals and making them clean the whole house top to bottom.  Unless you’re one of those momma’s that wakes your child up on Saturday morning with gospel or 90s R&B blasting!!! We all know that’s code for cleaning but also note that means the parent is going to be cleaning too.  Shit anybody in the house when the first song plays is cleaning, pets included lol. Not chilling in bed while the child busts their ass cleaning all the dirt that everyone in the household contributed to.

I can’t speak for any other household other than the black household because that is the household in which I grew up in.  It is so common for a parent to be in their bed chilling and the child has to fetch (yes I went there) them a cup of tea, a bag of chips or a beer.  And honestly occasionally that’s okay.  But all the time?  For that to become customary where your child is “trained” to do so?  Nah.  Get up and get yo own shit!  Who would’ve gotten it if the child wasn’t there?  And the one that burns my biscuits the most.  Paren’t calling the child from their room or from another chore to hand them the remote that’s in their bedroom on their dresser while they lay in the SAME bedroom in their bed.  Sir, Ma’am, Sis, Madam… GET YO LAZY ASS UP AND GET YO OWN SHIT.  Can the child call you into their room to hand them anything?  What makes that the child’s responsibility?  Because you gave them life?  That aint good enough BECAUSE THAT CHILD DID NOT ASK TO BE HERE.

Now I do understand that some children just don’t have the luxury to not be in this situation due to circumstances like having younger siblings and the parent is always at work trying to make ends meet.  But again that is completely different because the parent is out of the house and the eldest is stepping up to care for the younger children.  I agree still not their job but let’s face it that’s how this shit goes in our community.  Sometimes it is the child’s house.  Sometimes the child is the parent’s teammate.  In those instances I applaud the child and the respect runneth over.

But CLEARLY, that ain’t what I’m referring to and y’all know it.  I’m also aware this gon step on a few toes.  *insert Kanye shrug* y’all also know ion give two fucks.  Shit needs to be said.  Children rarely get to be children these days.  Parents it is okay to clean your child’s room.  Especially if you gon complain all day about it being your level of clean when in fact you are talking to a child.  Instead you’d prefer to spend all day fussing or going to get that raggedy ass belt.  When you could’ve cleaned it yourself and/or y’all could’ve done it TOGETHER, to TEACH your child YOUR LEVEL of clean.  But nooooooo parents swear children just suppose to come out the womb knowing what their level of clean is.  WRONG!

And who invented this I’ma show you one time and you better have it down pact rule?  I remember hearing, “I’ma show you this one time and I bet not have to show you again”.  How Sway?  You know in school they give multiple examples and you study something or go over something multiple times so one can understand it and create a habit of it, right?

I also think its funny how everything in the house belongs to the parent but they don’t wanna keep up with none of it.  “My kitchen should never be dirty”.  “My floors shouldn’t look like this”.  But they want the child to ensure their kitchen is NEVER dirty or that their floors are always clean.  Excuse me, when you gon ensure that shit for yourself… PARENT?  Because all this shit yours aint it?

I am open to different perspectives so leave a comment or DM me if we’re linked on social media but be prepared to agree to disagree.  Especially if you’re a parent trying to validate.  Y’all know I stand firm in what I believe….

Until next time…

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